What Truly Matters // New Year's Resolutions '15

So much has happened this year, and it has changed me in so many ways, which I am truly grateful for. Last year I couldn't even look myself in the mirror without being disgusted by the person in the mirror and I couldn't even be in a social context with others without pinching myself after every word I said.  


New Year's resolution is a thing people are starting loving to hate, but I still love to to set goals for myself every year. Something to work towards. Look back at the year that went by, and look forward on the year that is on it's way.

The Year That Went By...
This year I graduated from ninth grade, I started my international baccalaureate, I went studying in California for a semester, I moved out on my own, and I turned 16 last week. I did some pretty incredible things at the age of fifteen, and I am proud of myself. Right now it's 1am and I am filled with energy and confidence. 

One of the biggest things I accomplished this year is probably that I gained so much confidence this year. Last year I was so incredible insecure about everything from the way I spoke, acted and my overall outside appearance to my personality and inner thoughts. My forehead has pimples, my feet smells, my eyes are not getting any bigger, my nose is not getting any smaller, I gained weight while I was in America and I went through struggles about being away on my own, but right now I know that everything is going to be alright, and I started to look at what truly matters.

Lessons Learned
It doesn't matter what other people think about your taste in music, the clothes you are wearing, your thoughts and opinions, or your friends. What truly matters is doing what you love, and not being ashamed of who you are. 

This year I leaned that not everyone is going to like you no matter what you do. You can be yourself or try to be exactly like them, and they might still not like you. It doesn't matter if they like you or not. I wish I could have told myself that a year ago. I wish I knew what I know now a year ago, but then again if I knew it a year ago I might not have done the mistakes, I did, and learned from them. 

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Somehow I feel like I am finally in peace. I am not fighting some continous battle with myself, and my own demons are not haunting me anymore. My thoughts are getting quite deep, but I hope you understand what I mean by all of this. I am happy, and I enjoy every second of it.

Even though I have so much confidence right now I know it will not last for the rest of my life. Of course there are still going to be days, weeks or maybe even months where I feel miserable, sad, insecure and like a complet wreck, but now I know it is going to be okay. I know I will fight myself through it and I will survive. 

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I am not entirely the person I want to be, but I am one step closer, and that is good enough for me for now.

I want to be humble.
I want to be kind.
I want to be respectful.
I want to be happy.
I want to be honest.
I want to be hardworking.
I want to be independent.
I want to be confident.
I want to be strong.
I want to be myself.

Let 2015 be good. Let it teach me more about myself and others. Let it give me challenges and let it give me struggles, but let it also give me the strength and opportunities to survive another year. Let it give me love from my friends, family and the world. Let 2015 be good.

I want to end this post with a quote from my favorite artist, Mr. Vincent Van Gogh. My first post was a quote from him, and I couldn't find a better way to end a magical year.

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart."
- Vincent Van Gogh

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I hope you will have a wonderful New Year's Eve, and get safely into the new year. I wish you the best of luck, and I hope you will continue to read along in the new year where I welcome new readers and new thoughts as well as loyal amazing readers and blogging traditions. Also thank you for reading along and following me this year and especially in my hectic months in California where I didn't prfioritize blogging as high as usual. I am so grateful for everything I have, so thank you thank you thank you for your support! It truly means the world to me! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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Love you all and good luck in 2015!

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