I'm Trying // Life

I just need to vent, I need to breath and I need to forgive. I am quite good at forgiving others. At least I like to believe that I am. Forgiving myself for actions I have no power over anymore is what is dragging me down. I have so many dreams and they all seem so distant. So out of reach. My eyes are hung heavy by the weight of my loneliness.

Hello again,

How's life?

I've spend my summer at work with amazing colleagues. I got a promotion, which is always great. I have been sad. I have had fights with people I care about.  I have been living relatively homeless the last 4 weeks. My self-hatred has reached its peak, but I think it might get better soon. Overall, life has been slightly crappy.

Nevertheless I think I am on the right path. I think I can do good some day. Well, at least I'm trying.

I am trying to do better. I have less than a year left of school. I know it is going to be a nightmare, but I can't bare to live with that thought just yet, so I am going to stay positive. This is the year where I am going to blossom with time. I want to be better at prioritising. My summer is nearly over already. I have dedicated it to writing, reading, analyzing stages and literature.

I am currently ready 'A Guide To Shakespeare Without the Boring Bits' with commentary by Peter Ackroyd. It is really good, even though I do not always quite agree with the conclusions Ackroyd finds. I will recommend every literature interested or Shakespearean readers to read it. It has all of WS's sonnets, short biography of his life, a historical insight of the time Shakespeare writes and a clear overview of all Shakespeare's scripts.

Do you even call it scripts? I don't even know anymore. I have never read Shakespeare in school. I do not think it is in the curriculum either, which is a shame. Though Shakespeare can be very challenging even with native ears.

My plan was to study some international economics, so I could be ready for next semester, but for once I don't want to be the over-achiever. I just want to read and write. I want to specialise my interest. I know what I want to do for the rest of my life and let's see how far I can get with the passion of the written language and human relations.


PS. Let's just ignore the fact that the images are from last winter. It is just a stressful for me to not have any pictures, as it may be for you to have to look at it. I am sorry.

PPS. I have a '95 hours in The Netherlands' coming up tomorrow. The Netherlands is one of my favourite European destination, so I hope you enjoy!

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